This morning on the way to work I was listening to a song called “Mama” by II Divo.
Tears came to my eyes. I miss my mom. Just thinking about how much we’ve taken for granted from our mom.

Have you ever said “thank you so much” to her for all she’s done? The sacrifice you can’t count.
You can feel it in the lyrics from the song.

Mama- I Love You

Mama thank you for who I am, thank you for all the things I’m not
Forgive me for the words unsaid for the times I forgot
Mama remember all my life you showed me love, you sacrificed
Think of those young and early days how I’ve changed along the way
(Along the way)

And I know you believed and I know you had dreams
And I’m sorry it took all this time to see
That I am where I am because of your truth
And I miss you, yeah I miss you

Mama forgive the times you cried, forgive me for not making right
All of the storms I may have caused and I’ve been wrong dry your eyes
Dry your eyes

‘Cause I know you believed and I know you had dreams
And I’m sorry it took all this time to see
That I am where I am because of your truth
And I miss you, I miss you

Mama I hope this makes you smile, I hope you’re happy with my life
At peace with every choice I made how I’ve changed along the way
‘Cause I know you believed in all of my dreams
And I owe it all to you , mama

Sometimes I do believe that God talks to you in so many ways and speaks to you through your dreams, for example. When I checked an old post a few weeks ago, this article, “Do Not Wait Until Tomorrow” caught my attention. I remember I wrote this article a few years back. Looking back to the dream and what has happened in the past few months made me realize the dream has become reality.

Long story short. I had this dream about my mom leaving me a couple of times, on and on, within 4 years. The same vivid dreams that made me cry every time I woke up.

My mom had been sick for the last 2 year s. Last year my dad called me to ask if I want to come home to see my mom for one last time. I decided to go home despite the fact that my husband and I just traveled back home (halfway across the globe to Jakarta, Indonesia) the year before. I packed my bag, got a ticket within 2 days and the next thing you know I’m on a plane back home.

When I saw her, I couldn’t imagine where my mom got such strength. It must be a miracle that she woke up that morning on the day I got to Jakarta. Considering that she’d been on her death bed for about 3 months. She had no energy since she hadn’t been eating since April. I was so happy to see the ray of light in her. She would be healed and recover. But one thing rang really strange about it. She seemed like she had just come from different world. My dad was kind enough to let me sleep next to her for 2 weeks, so I could spent time with her after being separated so long.

A few times early in the mornings, I woke and found my mom just sitting quietly on her bed. I asked her, what she was thinking. She told me that she felt weird, she couldn’t fathom what was happening. She felt like she just woke up from a mysterious deep sleep.

Oh, what a great time I had with my mom. It was the most wonderful 2 weeks I’ve ever had in my life. I spent most of my time by her side, walked with her, fed her, bathed her, kissed her a thousand times. Thank you Lord for such a wonderful time, a wonderful opportunity you gave me. I prayed really hard the day before I flew to Jakarta that God would give me a chance to see her alive. That He wouldn’t take her before I got there. And the Lord granted it to me. He altered His plan for me.

On the day I went back to the US, I called my dad and he told me my mom was sick again. I was so sad to hear that but ready for the worst. A week later on August 2011, my mom went home to her Father in heaven. Thank you Mama for everything. You will always be missed. I love you Mama –

Lonely BirdWhat is your first impression when you hear the word, “little.” According to Merriam-Webster Online dictionary “little” means not big, small in size. That’s true, little means small, but let’s sit for a while and think about our world. Now we realize everything under heaven comes from small things first.

Look at all big trees in the forest, they all came from small seeds first. Human life begins from the very small thing that God sows in a mother’s womb. Rivers are created from water flowing from small streams and go to the huge ocean. A butterfly comes from the small caterpillar. And surely, there are many other examples of how small things are important to this complex universe.

I love the word of little. In a positive sense, it can denote humility. One of my favorite phrases is “To be the biggest, you have to be the smallest. To be the master you have to be the slave.” It means that through acts of service, you become great by helping others.

For those who feel small in their life, lift up your head. A great method of success is always to begin small and build into bigger things. To be the biggest in your life, you have to learn to be the smallest first, so you know how to appreciate everything you have in your life. Every step, every move and every effort that you make in your life makes you stronger until you finally get your reward, your success.

It’s important that you cling onto your hopes and dreams. Never give up hope. Hang it high in the sky and lift your head up and keep going on and one day you will arrive at the top and you will shout and raise your hand to look back and remember how wonderful the journey has been.

And so goes Z little bird. She will grow into a strong huge eagle one day :o)

Love & Peace from Zlittle (Suzana)


by Suzana Rowland

Dearest Friends

Time goes by so fast, without realizing it we are now in the first week of December 2005. Can you believe that? It seems just a few months ago we just celebrated New Year 2005 and now, in 25 more days from now we will be living in the year 2006. For a December message, today I want to share you something………………………………

I had a really sad dream yesterday when I was taking my nap; a dream about my mom. The dream began when my mom left our house for a trip to another part of the island. I didn’t know when my mom was gone because I wasn’t at home at the time. When I came back home, I later found out from my sister that she went there for a few days to visit my aunt. That’s really strange to me because my mom had never previously gone anywhere without telling me. She loves me so much and we’re like a flower and its stem with each other. I love my mom very dearly. I was wondering if there was something wrong with her. [Read more…]

Sonya Inside the BirdhouseOnce upon a time, when I was cleaning our deck, I saw a small gray head pop up out of my birdhouse door. It wasn’t clear, what it was. My heart pumped harder, tic! tac… tic tac…beating 100 times faster. My face was pale, hands were cold, and sweat started appearing all over my body. I don’t remember if my hair was standing up (ooh please! it wasn’t that dramatic, don’t exaggerate too much).
[Read more…]

by Suzana Rowland

I wanted to eat green bean casserole so bad the other day. I’ve never made it before, but previously just depended on my hubby to make it for me. And being the spoiler that he is–my knight will always be ready to cook green bean casserole for us.
[Read more…]